Coping with Wedding Stress
If you’re working on planning a wedding, you could be finding yourself weighed down by some of the worst stress you’ve ever experienced. There’s something about a wedding that brings out way more than we bargained for. The expenses stack up, the expectations can be terrifying, the time required might make you feel like you have a second job, and then the pressures from your family come rushing in. You have to make it on a day when Aunt Betsy and Aunt June can come! If you’re going to invite dad’s coworkers, you should also invite mom’s book club. You need to have a vegetarian option for the cousins, and the groom’s side really wants dancing…
Soon, it feels like this day isn’t about you and your fiance at all. It’s simply an awful ordeal that you have to get through if you want to survive with your relationship intact.
Well, here are some ideas to help you head off wedding stress so that instead you can enjoy this special time:
Learn to Say No
The biggest thing that will help you minimize wedding stress is learning right now to set boundaries with your loved ones. It can feel harsh at first, but as the one actually getting married, you have full veto power on all wedding decisions. The truth is that this day is just about you and your spouse-to-be. If everyone else wants specific things, they can throw their own party.
If you want to make peace in the family, you can tell a few important people that they have one special request available--whether that’s changing the date, having something extra on the menu, doing an edit on the invitation, whatever. They just have one and they can choose where they’re going to allocate that little bit of pull.
Remember, far from being cruel, boundaries are a mechanism that serves to keep us more compassionate and kind towards those around us.
Meditation and Deep Breathing
In the end, there’s just going to be a certain amount of stress that you can’t avoid. Now is a really good time to learn a few on-the-spot stress control techniques (just imagine how handy they’ll be when you have kids!)
So, practice early-morning meditation before you set out for the day. If you’re someone who gets good stress relief from exercise, set time aside for yourself at the gym. And learn to utilize immediate deep breathing to take a beat whenever something threatens to overwhelm you. To start out, breathe in for four seconds through your nose, then breath out for four seconds blowing the air out through your teeth. Concentrate on breathing, and nothing else, until you can feel your body abandon the fight-or-flight tension.
Expenses can be one of the biggest stresses of a wedding. The trouble is that you set a budget at the beginning and then you learn that everything is going to cost more than you thought. Eventually, you find yourself trying to work out what it is you’ll give up at this late stage, or scrambling to find a way to get more funds. Instead, plan way under-budget at the beginning. Give yourself a huge cushion on each service that you enlist, so that you have some wiggle room later on.
Focus on Your Relationship
Remember that in the end, this day is about your love. It’s a time to celebrate the life that you’re about to embark on. Anything beyond that is really unnecessary. You don’t have to feel obligated to do anything extra just because it’s tradition. This is a day that you want to be able to look back on with fondness. You want to concentrate on all the good anticipation and excitement that you should experience on your wedding day.
So, amidst all the planning and tastings and scheduling and invitations, take time out for just you and your betrothed. Continue to go on dates that are just special “you” time without obsessing over wedding plans. Establish a few plans that will be just between the two of you so that you can remind yourself why you’re doing this. For example, you can share your wedding vows with each other privately beforehand. You might send each other small notes in the days leading up to the wedding saying why you want to marry each other. You might find creative ways to tell your love story in the reception decor.
Guest Post provided by Christine Hill