Asking Siblings to be a part of Your Wedding - Wedding Photographer's Tips and Tricks

How do you ask your siblings to be part of your wedding?

The bride and groom have one gigantic duty for the day, it is the only obligation that really matters and that is to get married. Though this won't be as simple as it seems and it isn't, the bride and groom must choose who they wish to surround themselves with. For some, this is easy, for others it may be tricky. Who do we include and who decide to "leave out"? Must we ask our siblings to be apart of our big day?

The Pros Of Asking Our Siblings

The fact that our partner completes you is absolutely true but no one gets us quite like our siblings do. They have been there through thick and thin, good days and bad days and all the breakups and makeups in our life. The presence of siblings in the bridal party ensures that they will be there whenever we need them. But just remember, if you utilize one in your wedding party, more than likely you'll have jealous feelings if you don't utilize all of them.

The Cons of Asking

There is one huge issue with asking your family members to be apart of your big day. Maybe they've got a sense of jealousy thinking that they should be in your shoes or maybe they've got a sense of entitlement over their duties. Make sure that you can have honest communication with your family member or siblings to save you time and stress later.

The Perfect Job For the Perfect Sibling

Depending on how many you have, maybe you could find other jobs for each sibling. Go with your gut and listen to what it is telling you. If your gut is saying to have one of your sisters in the wedding while finding other jobs that are important for the big day for the others, so be it. Remember, it is your day and your friends and family will be honored to play a part in it.

Duties, Obligations, and Fun

  1. The family has to deal with setting the budget for the party. It is very important to know things before-hand so that there are no financial issues later in the party. 
    If your parents, grandparents, or other family members want to help, let them come to you. Don't be rude and ask for money. Also, remember, wherever the money comes from, they get a say in how things go!
  2. You've got to choose a date and time that works for the majority of your immediate family. For example, if you dad had a business trip planned the second week of July, I would avoid the second week of July. Various factors are considered while making the above choices. The date should and site should be mutually decided by both the sides of bride as well as the groom. 
    Coordinate with the entire family to be sure that you've got a good date. 
  3. There has to be a meeting with the officiate to discuss various details about the wedding and marriage counseling. 
    Ask siblings that are already married what to expect, even a gesture as small as this, will mean a lot. 
  4. The florist has to be contacted and the photographer has to be booked for the wedding scenario. 
    Not sure what questions to ask? Ask your family to help you out. Chances are, they've got connections or know what questions to ask to get you where you need to be with your vendors.
  5. You've got the engagement ring, but now you've got to get the wedding bands. 
    Take your sisters along with you to pick out your wedding band if you really want an honest opinion. More than likely, your hubby-t0-be won't know what he is looking at and you'll get the generic, "Yeah, honey, that looks great."
  6. Wedding vows have to be written if you choose to. Not the expert novelist or honky-dory with your words? 
    Here is another opportunity to ask your siblings for help.
  7. Addressing the envelopes for the save the dates, the invitations, and the thank you cards for later. This can be tedious, especially if you're hand writing them. 
    Have your siblings play a part in the events that lead up to the big day. Don't forget to say a special thank you to them for all of their help. 
  8. The bride's mother has chooses her attire and then informs groom's mother of her choice so they can complement each other. 
    The mom's may not know this, so make sure that you tell them that they must coordinate and all the etiquette of this. Same goes for sisters... Be sure that they are coordinating as well. 
  9. The groom's family helps the bride with the guest list and offer moral assistance support with wedding details. They provide a list of guests to the couple sticking to an agreed-upon number. 
    Ask them to placed the guests in order of "importance" so that when it comes down to it, you can shrink the list easily without having confusing conversations. Especially if they've not agreed to a number. 
  10. The father of the bride has to be the last man to leave the reception, after saying goodnight to guests and settling outstanding bills with the caterer, bandleader and coat-check, restroom and parking attendants. That is if dad foots the bill. 
    Make sure he knows this, this is proper etiquette for weddings. 
  11. The expenses of the wedding have to be contributed by both the sides of the bride and the groom i.e. bride's parents, groom's parents and the couple themselves. In past the bride's parents usually had the dubious privilege of footing the bill for the majority of wedding expenses, but new wedding etiquette states that help from both sides can occur. 
    Be sure to never ask for money, it's rude and unheard of. Don't be that person that has no etiquette. 
  12. BridesmaidThe main role of a bridesmaid is to assist the bride with her wedding-planning duties and help the bride as needed. She is the one who looks after the needs of the bride and makes her comfortable all through the wedding event. Bridesmaids can be single or married and of any age .She helps with tasks like addressing invitations. The bridesmaids walk in the processional and recessional. 
    During the reception she mostly mingles and dances with the groomsmen and other important guests. Junior bridesmaid is a girl between the ages of 9 and 13, sisters are great for this job too!
  13. Groomsmen - The groomsman is the man closest to the groom. He takes cares of all the bachelor party! He has very few responsibilities before the wedding. He is referred to as ushers. He periodically checks with the groom and best man to see if he needs any help to handle any task. On the day of wedding the groomsmen arrives early at the ceremony site to welcome the guests. 
    He is the one who handles all other friends of the groom and serves them drink. He plays the role of a big brother of the groom. Brothers are meant for this job. 

Always Remember, You've Got This

It is your big day, if you do not wish to include certain family members in your big day, that is up to you. Don't go with one over the other without thinking of jobs that the others can do. They don't have to have equal jobs, so long as they are all included. Do what makes you happy and try to include everyone as best you can. 


Asking family members to be apart of your big day can be tricky. Maybe there are some family member that you don't associate with or maybe you've got some hard feelings left over from a past event. Whatever your reasoning, just remember, you only get married once. Deciding to ask parts of your family of the other can cause hurt feelings. You'll have these pictures for a lifetime, wouldn't you want everyone included to remember the happiness of the day? Especially, you as the bride and groom... You'll want happy memories to come from those pictures. Do what you feel is right and you'll have no issues knowing what to do. Happy planning


Guest Post Writte by: Kayla Rigler